Signs

All too often we look for the very very large signs, and ignore the small ones.



Our son, Mark, died unexpectedly from fentanyl poisoning on June 1st 2019. We mourn his loss, and have seen the grief and devastation his death has caused us, his parents, his sisters and brothers, the entire family, friends, first responders, and the entire community. 

One of the questions we have asked ourselves, perhaps too many times, is what warning signs should we have seen to tell us when Mark had returned to using drugs like heroin or another opioid.

All too often we look for the very very large signs:  the telltale packet which has fallen on the floor, or a hypodermic or constriction band carelessly disposed of in the garbage, sleeplessness, a change in hygiene, the "I'm too tired" excuse, "I'm going to see a friend" or "get something to eat" or "I need to take care of something" which turns into a four or five hour affair. The package of pills on the dresser or some other paraphernalia. These may all indicate somebody who is running their game.

There are also very small signs as well. Some of these could be associated with the constipation effects of opioids, like drinking excessive amounts of bottled water or soda, taking laxatives every day, or using magnesium tablets or powder to relieve constipation. Over reactions to small talk or blowing up small issues to major ones also may indicate return to using.
 
Remember to go with your "gut" when you have a "gut" feeling. Too many times the 'easy' thing to do is push that behind you, but don't! Let them know you know. No matter what they will deny and say things like "I understand you suspect me, but I didn't!" The first instinct is to believe, but do not! Let them know you love them, but DO NOT believe them! Our son kept on saying "I understand why you don't believe me." We both just wanted to cry.